Brian Holt

Brian Holt is an award-winning graphic designer in Vancouver, Canada, who turns incomprehensible jargon into a clear message, ugly into pretty, and awkwardness into grace.

Brian Holt is a web developer in Vancouver, Canada, that likes 01100011 01101111 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111.

Brian Holt is an artist in Vancouver, Canada, selfishly striving to make things that are meaningful and everlasting while trying to find purpose in this crazy thing called life. Guys, it's so crazy.

Brian Holt is a musician in Vancouver, Canada, working diligently on becoming the "next big thing". He plays several instruments, notably guitar, drums, and bass. Singing and pressing buttons on the keyboard are also adorably attempted.

Brian Holt is an amateur photographer in Vancouver, Canada, armed with an iPhone and Instagram. He's just like you.

Brian Holt is a person in Vancouver, Canada, who likes meeting new people from anywhere. You can tweet him @BHOLTBHOLT or write him.

Experience Tectoria

design development

Whistler Wedding Pastor

design development

Thinklandia, Artlandia, & Makelandia

development

hereNow

advertising design development

Madill Equipment

development

All My Friends

advertising design development

Cohen Buchan Edwards

advertising design development

Hasty Pasty Pie Co

advertising design

The Perfect Gift

advertising

Wanstalls Hunting & Sporting Supplies

advertising

Fitma

design development

Sights of Summer

advertising design

Caribbean Festival

advertising design

Town & Country Floor Design

advertising

Who is Brian Holt?

advertising design

Sweet Sweet Honey Bucket

advertising design

Concert Posters

advertising

The New Caddy Shack

advertising

A Few Weeks Somewhere Else

photography

Clinic Aid

advertising

8 Bit Band Illustration

art

My Community

design

Holiday Greetings

advertising

Cookies & Carols

design

Boyhood

art

Topics

design

Gentle Reminders

art

The Big Joke

art

Back to School

advertising design

StrangewaysMedia

design

Becker & Company

advertising design

Still

music

Photos I Like

photography

The Ice Climbers

art

53 Squares

art

Real Estate Resource Guide

advertising design

But I Really Really Like You

art

The Cost Of Success

art

Experience Tectoria Festival

Experience Tectoria, Victoria's biannual tech festival, connects citizens with what's going on in the tech community. Their 2014 retro-space brand was created by Annika Lavinge while I designed and developed a custom Wordpress theme that felt playful and polished.

It turned out really well. Seriously, you should go play with it.

  • The calendar dynamically toggles between the two days
  • Hovering over a speakers' photo randomly generates one—three orbiting balls, animated with CSS3 transitions and positioned with pseudo-elements
  • When you reach the bottom of the page, a subtle sun-rise parallax effect brings the last planet into frame
  • And most importantly, an animated SVG rocketship takes off when you start scrolling at the top of the page

Whistler Wedding Pastor

When Jer reached out for whistlerweddingpastor.com I was excited to work on it. His audience was cool, young, often outdoorsy, and sophisticated. He wanted the site to capture the sense adventure in the Whistler wilderness without being campy.

I drew a lot of inspiration from Wes Anderson, paying extra attention to typography, textures, and artwork. The photos Jer provided were great so I utilized them as much as possible. He also mentioned he'd be using the blog frequently so I spent a fair bit of time making it look great and super simple to use.

He was really happy with it, saying "[Brian] took some really vague ideas I had and turned them into gold. Building the site from scratch, he was super easy to work with, fast, and I highly recommend him."

Looks like the story has a happy ending.

- fin -

Thinklandia, Artlandia, & Makelandia

Thinklandia, Artlandia, & Makelandia are festivals about ideas, creativity, and innovation that's now part of Victoria's Rifflandia Festival. In 2014 it featured over 50 speakers and 15 events that spanned two weeks.

Joey and I worked together on the site; he on the aesthetic and me on the functionality. Each site worked independently, but connected to each other via the side menu, and the schedule linked back to Thinklandia, the main site. To differentiate the sites we worked with a specified colour scheme that was easily updated/customized via the Wordpress backend. Check out the screenshots →

hereNow

Rather than spend the night watching a movie with her over-cuddly cat, my girlfriend and I wanted to find something cool to do. It was the weekend, how hard could it be to find entertainment? Answer: we watched a movie.

During the following week1 I built hereNow as a cross-platform Ruby on Rails app so we could find something fun to do on the weekend. We heard about the best thing ever and had the best time ever2 and lived happily ever after3. The end.
1: Not actual timeline. 2: Fun forever. 3: Broke up.

To market the free service, I ran a teaser campaign around Victoria with prodding headlines suggesting viewers could be spontaneous and find things to do right now. The campaign was followed up by another set of posters remarking that hereNow had abolished boredom and lame nights.

Madill Equipment

In the Madill Equipment project I was asked to rebuild their CMS site into a regular php site. Their CMS site had several problems with its responsiveness and the client was having trouble editing information (because the CMS site was all built on slide shows). I took their PSD mockups and replicated them in a responsive environment perfectly.

All My Friends

All My Friends are an upbeat synth-pop duo from Vancouver. Their fans are kids who grew up on console video games and their nostalgia-filled lyrics emphasized youthfulness. If there was a single word to summarize the band, it would need to be "fun".

With their album artwork I sought to magnify the attitude of each release. Their debut, I Have No Faith in Machines, was a collection of pop songs underneath a frantic drum and synth ensemble. They used a variety of 8-bit inspired sounds and called it "video-game music". I suggested a throw-back to arcade-style beat 'em up games because it echoed the excitement present through each song. We found a local artist to draw the band for the front cover and another to do 8-bit versions of the duo for the disc.

That's What Christmas is All About was a free EP the band released as a gift for their fans. I'm not sure there's anything that says 'childhood Christmas' more than Merry Christmas Charlie Brown, so I drew the duo as Charlie Brown and Linus in the famous tree-picking scene.

I kept the video-game theme present in their concert posters. I combined serval screenshots, or borrowed promotional materials from various games to turn them into attention capturing posters In a city that was over-saturated with event posters. Fans loved them so much that All My Friends were asked for additional copies.

When designing their website, I treated the domain as a central hub for fans to find anything All My Friends. The band didn't want to devote more time online—they wanted to make music—and since they had an active online presence between Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, bringing those together was the most efficient design move. Links to their social media, music hosting platform, and contact information kept their website simple, and a Twitter feed linked to each member's personal account was added to ensure their page would stay updated.

When Twitter revoked access to their users' streams, I updated their site to display their music videos. In December 2013, All My Friends released another Christmas song and I updated their website to match the mood. The most logical design move was to make the background actually snow. So that's what I did.

Cohen Buchan Edwards

Cohen Buchan Edwards' site was last updated in 2008, and since the redesign project started in late 2013 there was a lot to be done. All the pages were designed to be full-width and fully-responsive across mobile, tablet, and desktop displays. I used large banner images for larger screens that scaled down on smaller displays. And by extending Wordpress functionality I was able to build a really intuitive backend for their custom theme.

Hasty Pasty Pie Co.

OMG. Have you ever had a pasty pie? Do you know what one is? The pies Hasty Pasty Pie Co. make are amazing. All locally sourced ingredients and handmade in Victoria. It was a piece of ca… nevermind the pun. It was incredibly easy coming up with a cool rustic brand for the company as well as a few headlines on their shelf-toppers to capture the attention of drooling customers.

Jason McCoy's The Perfect Gift

It's something of a Christmas tradition for Jason McCoy now; as the holiday season approaches, he travels across Canada performing classic carols mixed in with his originals. I was able to get ahold his secret recipe responsible for its success each year.

  • 2 parts classic Christmas songs
  • 1 part new Christmas songs
  • A strong helping of country music
  • A dash of authentic humour

Mix ingredients into an award-winning cup and you've got the perfect drink. Pour it all over newsprint and you've got the perfect ad campaign for Jason McCoy.

Wanstalls Hunting & Sporting Supplies

The only guns I've ever fired have been connected to a Nintendo (with a wire) or loaded with caps. Aka: they were made from plastic and are not at all threatening to a 6 point buck, grizzly, or undomesticated house-cat. Come to think of it, they were hardly even threatening to my brother who evidently had better make-believe aim than I did.

Wanstalls had received a new shipment of the industry-standard hunting rifle, the Springfield Armory M1A Standard, and wanted to promote it without being tacky. Knowing next to nothing about guns, I spent an afternoon researching the rifle and Wanstalls' customer base in order to come up with an effective ad.

While flipping through photos of fresh kills made by the hunting community in Maple Ridge, I let my mind wander in order to come up with the ad copy. I noticed the hunters were all very proud of their prey, so I wanted to portray that in the headline. Like a cowboy ad. Or Texas Ranger. Or Highlander. Something with strength and attitude. Since it was 2012, my mind eventually went to zombies and survivalism and I came up with "If only the strong survive, then I'm sure glad I brought my M1A."

A hunter armed with the industry-standard rifle would certainly be a good partner to last the zombie apocalypse. Although, as long as he didn't become a zombie, I think I’d side with Highlander.

Fitma

"I'm a bio-mechanic." That was one of the first ways Andre described himself and Fitma to me. It's a program about fluidity and movement, an idea about being centred and grounded, and a way to reach peak human potential.

I selected Meta for the logo because of its humanist touch paired with sturdiness. The font looks fluid and grounded. The icon was designed while exploring the sense of movement in various angles and shapes. The Fitma website was put together on SquareSpace as a way to keep the budget down.

Sights of Summer Photo Contest

Sleep in. Beach. Tan. Swim. Campfire. Road trip. Waste time. Surf. Drink. Concerts. Summer fling. Bike. BBQ. Lounge. Nap. Explore. Festivals. See friends. Read. Make a logo. Vacation. Get lost. Kayak. Dinner. Stargaze. Shoegaze. Flip flops. Skinny dip. Build a website. Hike. Music. Movies. Create a lowercase script f to match the font. Paint. Cliff jump. Sky dive. Up all night.

Caribbean Festival

I've never been to the Caribbean, so my entire perception of it is based off of this video:

After that, I made a logo and campaign for the Caribbean Festival in Maple Ridge.
Did I do it right?

Town & Country Floor Design

12 Steps to a Happiness in the Suburbs:

  1. Make a campaign for Town & Country Floor Design, Abbotsford's premium flooring store, that promotes hardwood floor to young families.
  2. Eat lunch.
  3. Fill up the car with gas.
  4. Pick up yogurt, bananas, basil, tomatoes, and walnuts.
  5. Return Thank You For Smoking to Blockbuster. Re-subscribe to Netflix.
  6. Get married.
  7. Buy a character starter home that needs some fixing up.
  8. Have two kids.
  9. Drive Sarah to preschool
  10. Pick out colours to paint the walls.
  11. Change the floors.
  12. Be happy.

Seems pretty straightforward to me. I've even done some of those things and have been satisfied so far. I can only assume if I followed all those steps that by the time I bought and installed hardwood flooring I would truly be happy. Thanks TnC, yr the best, bb!

Who is Brian Holt?

I applied for a design scholarship that was solely based upon the contents of a little black book. Inside, participants needed to explain why they deserved to win, showcase their work, and write a little bit about themselves. And have it completed in two weeks. Since all the applicants were relatively unknown and early into their design careers (myself included) I found it amusing to play up the anonymity of the submissions. Who were these people anyway? Why did they matter? In addition, it struck me that the judges would be reading nearly identical books; they'd see high-quality work, a compelling argument, and some personality. In that case, making something as trivial as a name the focus was bound to stand out.

In order to inflate my name to ridiculous stature, I borrowed famous characters, people, and historical events and twisted their purpose. What if, instead of travelling to the moon to beat the Soviet Union, the Americans travelled there hoping to find the answer to a great question: who is Brian Holt? Or if Super Mario was on a quest to learn an answer rather than save the princess? Or if Muhammad Ali fought Sonny Lester for information instead of the Heavyweight Championship? Yeah, ridiculous.

But borrowing characters and superimposing "Who is Brian Holt?" to posters wasn't enough. The judges wouldn't understand the struggles and importance of these altered historical events if they were constrained to a little black book. I needed the judges to wonder for themselves. The effect needed to transcend the book. So I printed up more than 60 posters and plastered the small office entrance with them. The posters lead up to the front doors, where on the ground in large letters was the phrase "WHO IS BRIAN HOLT?".

A week later, the black book arrived at the office in the mail, wrapped in one of the posters. It began with a tongue-in-cheek foreward citing many of life's vast questions which all lead to the most important of all: who is Brian Holt. The following pages included a poster asking "Who is Brian Holt?", followed by a single sentence answering with a value I held, a piece of work that demonstrated the value, then an explanation. In ten sentences I described values that defined me as a person and designer. Unfortunately, I didn't win the scholarship, but the judges probably know my name. Or at least both them and the janitors know who vandalized the building.

Sweet Sweet Honey Bucket

Classic-rock and blues band Sweet Sweet Honey Bucket had a loose, loud, and energetic style with an attitude that made it apparent they really loved the stage. There was a certain sense of freedom with a hint of rebellion reminiscent of 1950s America. Developing a brand borrowed from iconic Golden-Age American culture seemed perfect. After all, what's more classic-rock than girls in muscle cars?

For their concert flyers, I recreated classic movie posters, replacing the movie text with information pertaining to the event. The fonts and colours were matched to maintain the integrity of the originals, and further the bands' connection to the era.

Their record artwork was created from an old GTO advertisement, simplified, and edited for the band. I also created a promotional hand-out, that was placed on table tops at pubs prior to an event, using the cover design so audience members would recognize the artwork upon seeing a physical copy of the record.

Concert Posters

Concert posters is where I started in graphic design. Given free reigns, I looked for strikingly odd images that would attract some attention. It was great what a Google image search could come up circa 2007.

The New Caddy Shack

When given the New Caddy Shack account I was told its Blue Collar Hour was the best deal in town, but the club was still empty. The reason why seemed obvious to me: the current advertisement featured a woman's naked chest with starbursts covering her nipples, trapped behind a chain-link fence, with police caution tape crossed over her, then on top of all that, three or four promotions scrawled across the ad space in grunge text. I hadn't even realized there was a single promotion until I stared at it long enough to decipher what the letters spelt amiss the chaos. The advertisement was clearly being overlooked.

Since the club was under new ownership, I took the opportunity to give the brand a refresh. No more trashy strippers caught on the wrong side of a chain-link fence. No more caution signs warning patrons to stay away. No more starbursts and grunge text. The New Caddy Shack had cleaned up its club and I would clean up their ads.

It might come as a surprise, but it's somewhat difficult to find a photo for a strip club that doesn't scream SEEDY. I wanted something subtle, and found an image that wasn't actually explicit, but implied it. The headline I wrote was flirtatious with its play on words, and minimal copy simplified the "best deal in town". That should attract a bit of attention. And it did more than a little.

During the four weeks the advertisement ran, readers bickered back and forth (via letters to the editor) about the establishment's campaign. People who were "not prude" claimed the image was corrupting youth and causing the "downward spiral of our society". Others argued there was nothing wrong or shocking with it; that it wouldn't "teach them something they don't already know". Needless to say, the New Caddy Shack was no longer being ignored.

A Few Weeks Somewhere Else

In the late summer of 2012 I spent three weeks travelling western Europe and visiting family with my sister and brother. We arrived in Frankfurt, Germany; spent three days in Milan, Italy; flew to Paris, France and stayed for a week; spent a night in Glasgow, Scotland; and took a bus to Manchester, England before flying back to Vancouver two days later. These are a bunch of photos I took on my iPhone that I liked. The best of the best were published in a book, but you can browse all of them below. Enjoy!

ClinicAid

ClinicAid is a cloud-based medical billing system that "allows a billing item to be entered and submitted in less than five seconds on average". I thought that statement alone was incredible and focused the messaging on having more time.

Two of the three headlines targeted doctors—appealing to their sense of duty or sense of humour—while the third targeted those who actually did the billing. The remaining copy was written to explain what ClinicAid was in less than five seconds.

8-bit Band Illustration

That is all.

My Community

For everything Maple Ridge and Pitt Meadows, members of the community only needed to read My Community. The annual magazine published by the Maple Ridge Pitt Meadows News showcased local things to see and do, events, and articles relevant to living in the area. My goal in the design and branding was to make the magazine familiar yet new and exciting.

Using vibrant colours I made the articles look fresh and interesting while local photos and Verdana as the typeface made them look familiar. The logo design used Walburn for its historical look—especially in regards to the News—and Verdana for a contemporary contrast. The contrast was used because the communities have architecture that has been around since pioneer times as well as a lot of new modern developments.

Holiday Greetings

Holiday Greetings was an annual feature where both advertisers and community members could send each other good wishes during the holiday season. With Christmas songs trapped in my head, these are a few ads I wrote and designed that I liked.

When designing the Holiday Greetings Cover and layout, I aimed to romanticize the feature. I chose American Typewriter to nod toward its beginnings when people actually mailed in their greetings, then looked for them in the paper. In choosing photos I sought out families that were reflective of the community.

Fetch a Bone had initially submitted pages of sales they wanted crammed into the ad space, but I focused it on their most important special. And once it was paired with that pup's face, how could anybody say no to a new toy?

How do you create an optimistic holiday advertisement for a law firm who mostly handle collisions and injuries? For Fowle & Company I used just a bit of humour.

I'd be flattered if Urban Eyewear replaced their eye charts with my advertisement leading up to the New Year, but I understand if they need something more technical. (I'm not an eye doctor—do eye charts become technical? They should just use it.)

Continuing with the rebrand I developed earlier in the year, these Pyrgos Taverna ads reminded people that this Greek restaurant loved celebrating Christmas time.

Cookies & Carols

Obviously, the best thing about Christmas time is gourging on home-baked sweets until you're so stuffed it's mid-January before you've left the couch. That's why the Maple Ridge Pitt Meadows News publishes an annual collection of local recipes and classic carols. In 2012, I was in charge of the design.

Boyhood

Call this print an ode to youth if you'd like. I was riding my bike around my hometown listening to Oh No! Yoko's track Boyhood when I came up with the idea. After sorting through 26 years of photos I decided upon 225 to immortalize in the collage.
Now I feel old, but it looks like I had fun doing it.

Topics

Topics is a full-colour e-newsletter published four times a year and distributed to over 450 individuals. Its content includes a wide range of subjects of interest to the management of law firms in British Columbia. It's designed for letter size paper and distributed as a high-quality interactive PDF. I redesigned the newsletter paying close attention to readability, consistency, and cleaness.

Gentle Reminders

A series of minimalist messages painted on acrylic canvas. With Gentle Reminders I wanted to make the pieces introspective; that the message would take on a different meaning depending on the onlooker's personal reflection of the statement. Neutral statements in a neutral typeface on a neutral background clear the way for the onlooker's own feelings to come forward. Is the statement positive or negative? Is the statement bland or inspiring? Is the statement meaningful or meaningless?

The Big Joke

I'm not sure if the King James, New American, or some other translation is to blame, but I feel that with this updated passage Christians people everywhere would be a lot less angry and stressed. Especially when arguing which deity's rules are the right ones to follow.

Just kidding. I take these things very seriously. #existentialism

Back to School Photo Contest

My first day of real school was an awful cry-fest. I had already attended preschool and a half-year of kindergarten, but this was different. I was about to be left to the mercy of a strange teacher for a six-hour day. All I really wanted to do was play Super Mario Brothers 3 and draw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Standing in the lineup, I begged and pleaded for my mom to set me free. How could she abandon me? Did she even know what they were going to do to me? To my dismay, I was escorted inside, to a desk, at the sound of a warning bell.

It seemed that the teacher knew I wasn't happy being in her territory. She tried to bribe me with a colouring book full of Sesame Street characters printing the alphabet. Shouldn't she know I already knew how to write the alphabet? I was unimpressed, but I knew I could outsmart her by finishing all the pages before she came back. She'd have to let me go home then.

As I was nearing the final strokes of the letter Q, the teacher interrupted the classroom with the next activity. I quickly tried to race through the remaining letters, but one of her cohorts snatched the book from me. When I insisted on finishing it now, she condescendingly remarked how cute I was and that I could finish tomorrow. Tomorrow!? As if I'm ever coming back here!

We carried on with various activities and when that warning bell rang again, we were herded outside. Finally, I have a chance to escape! With a breath of fresh air I looked out at my world only to find my mom waiting for me. Unabashedly, I raced toward her; she had come to rescue me. When she asked how my first day was, I was startled. The entire day? It's over? It turned out that teacher had some sort of time-control device that made the excruciating days go by quickly. Unfortunately, it seems in the chaos of that first day no pictures were taken to verify these events. You'll have to take my word for it.

StrangewaysMedia

Strangeways Media described themselves to me as a progressive new media production company who had evolved with each new advancement in technology. Their primary focus was web development and video, and they wanted their logo to reflect that.

I selected a font that echoed the lines and letterforms of early computer programming languages. Its clean, stiff lines made it recognizable as a computer-type font, yet it's rounded ends and curves added a touch of personality. Beneath the wordmark I created a series of growing boxes which hinted movement and nodded towards a film strip.

Becker & Company Lawyers

Becker & Company Lawyers is an experienced firm from Pitt Meadows marketed by Van Dyke Marketing and Communications. Working closely with Susan, I've expanded on their existing brand (designed by Letterbox Design) while maintaining its integrity and personal voice. Works include print, screen, and web advertisements, the Get Paid logo, and internal handouts.

Still

Still, the second release from Modern Lakes dove further into the dark and moodier sounds of indie-rock. Its ambient textures and melancholy melodies emphasized the lonely and introspective lyrics while an aggressive and driving rhythm section magnified a certain restlessness that was present underneath.

Most of the songs had existed in some form for years prior to recording and releasing the ep, but reworking them with the rest of the band gave them new life. We recorded the music over a few days in the Factory in Vancouver and completed the vocal recordings slowly over the next few months.

The Ice Climbers

If there's a pair more qualified to talk about teamwork, you'll need to let me know, because as far as I'm concerned, this duo is the essence of what true teamwork is. Scaling mountains to bother pterodactyls (is that what that bird is?), wearing matching clothes, being generally useless and difficult to control in Super Smash Bros. But doing all of that together. That's teamwork. Or codependency.

I certainly need a reason to paint things, right? It'd be too senseless to paint two nearly identical faces on canvas just because I liked the sketch I drew. The story is important. Is art without meaning still art?

53 Squares

You'll need: a canvas, at least the three primary colours, a paintbrush, a palette, and painter's tape (or masking tape).
Optional accessories: a ruler, water to clean the brush, an album or two to listen to, a drink.

  • Divide and tape the canvas into an even set of squares. Make sure to include the tape width. Note: This may get less important as you get closer to the edge and realize you've forgotten how to do grade-four-level division. You'll end up with odd white borders that—never mind.
  • Squeeze out a bunch of paint onto your palette and mix a new colour. Apply paint to your brush and then to one of the canvas squares. For straight, sharp lines paint right over the tape.
  • Repeat step 2 until you get bored think of a clever reason to leave a bunch of spaces white.
  • Count how many squares are coloured and title your piece with that number. Alternatively/abstractly/artfully you could count the blank space and title your piece that way, then write about how the colour is actually a distraction to the simple elegance of a blank canvas. Note: Extra credibility for drawing an analogy from blank canvas to open mind/imagination.

It's just like paint by numbers. See, art is easy!

Real Estate Resource Guide

With the real estate market booming in Maple Ridge and Pitt Meadows, the News published a guide to assist buyers, sellers, and those interested in it. It featured buying and selling advice, realtor contacts, and various articles about the communities. I created a design that was clean, contemporary, and corporate that reflected the communities. It won first place in Best Real Estate or Homes Publication 2012, from the Local Media Association.

But I Really, Really Like You

Recently I read a quote by Morrissey that said something to the effect of 'the title is the most important part of the song'. I relate; that exact thought is was what drove But I Really, Really Like you.

I wondered two things one day: what a monster would look like, and what it would be doing. I had come back from a sour date when the idea popped into my head. I guess I was wondering what went wrong. I suppose I wasn't that funny—I get jokes…really. Maybe she thought I was bland. Or that I came on too strong—that was probably it.

So that answers what a monster might be doing; not understanding what coming on too strong means. What would he look like? Does it matter? He's a monster. Run away.

The Cost of Success

How does one measure success? It seems to be both a relative and internal scale determined by ambition. And what drives ambition? I'm not sure where I got my love/hate relationship with that.

At one time I felt like success could be measured, tracked, and predicted like a stock with a determined attitude and hard work. Whatever effort I put into something would be, at minimum, equally reciprocated into the results I desired. With persistent focus I'd get what I wanted. Sacrifices would need to be made but those sacrifices were less important than the goal. A true sense of 'the end justifies the means'.

Time passed and I began questioning my wants. Was my idea of success distorted? How could I determine that? What would make it honest? How important was it to be "successful"?

Another cliché idea was re-introduced to me as well; the journey vs. destination in terms of happiness. While I enjoyed my (seemingly endless) pursuits, I had begun to feel that I was missing other equally-enjoyable pastimes. That feeling eventually consumed me so much that my focus shifted to what I was missing out on because of blind ambition.

The irony in the pursuit of success happened when, one day I realized I had been chasing pastimes in spite of goals for so long, that it had become the goal itself. I had begun to miss that blind, ambitious drive and its selfish ability to command my life. A sense of balance was obviously missing, but more so, a sense of purpose. Yet I still craved success, not fully knowing what that meant.

Would I be doomed to repeat myself in cycles hoping to achieve something everlasting, like the tree cycles through the seasons shedding its leaves but eventually leaving its mark in the forest? Would I be the lone, remembered trunk or one of the countless, forgotten leaves?